I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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