perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
