I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
