I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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