Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize