no, he came in my armpit
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
