Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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