I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Even my vagina gasped.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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