I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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