Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Randomize
