Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
