that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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