why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
