You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize