waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
