He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize