my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
