nut hugger
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
