god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
