there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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