I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
