I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize