I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
