Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize