she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
