I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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