A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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