I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
