Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
