her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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