i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize