The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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