wat bout pragnant strippers??
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize