New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
