I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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