She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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