You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
