I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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