Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I still have a little drunk in my system
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize