I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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