you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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