I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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