dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
