did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
