Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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