Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize