So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize