did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
