You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
