I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
