I think I am morally bankrupt
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
