remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
