we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
