someone threw a dead crab at me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
