im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
MIDGETS
????
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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