I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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