Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
