One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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