If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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