Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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