I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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