Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
