where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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