He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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