I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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